How I learned to love playing football again
MINDFUL MOMENTS # 158
I want to tell you a story about how I wasn't enjoying football anymore, and now I am. It's profound, I know - stay with me.
I joined girls' football last August. I loved it. I went because I wanted to play team sports again, and wanted something fun and inclusive. I didn't go expecting to make new friends, not really - that wasn't my goal (not that we're bothered about scoring at Gals) - so I was pleasantly surprised to meet people I genuinely felt I could be good friends with.
None of us was very good back then. Our first session was on Hove Lawns because all of the pitches had been booked up nearly a year in advance (by about 90% boys' teams I might add). Our wayward balls strayed dangerously near to passing cars and I'm pretty sure there were more squeals than there were actual passes.
Gals FC was set up in London by two amazing gals, Nora and Lorne, who have since gone on to establish four other weekly football sessions across the UK and are nine episodes deep into their podcast, Dream Teams. Gals has values, not rules. During games, we don't keep count of goals, and we don't keep positions. Cheering is mandatory, regardless of whether you're playing for the Pinkies (pink bibs) or the Bogies (green bibs).
I remember my first session back after being away for six weeks in Costa Rica, and noticing how much the gals had improved. We'd also nearly doubled in size and I felt a little left behind. Some of the girls had started playing in a separate women's league on Thursdays and had become really great players.
I'd started working the Wednesday late shift as the only GP, and leaving on time was difficult without careful planning. I started arriving late to Gals and missing the first few skill drills. Suddenly, the way I tumbled over the ball seemed inept rather than amusing, and the number of haphazard passes I made seemed to tally up in my head like some kind of football equivalent of the shameful scarlet letter: ‘A’ for abysmal. I started missing a few sessions in lieu of other plans and it made it harder to remember everyone's names. I thought about quitting; I wasn't enjoying it anymore, so what was the point?
But I felt sad at the thought of leaving the community, and forgoing the weekly run around on a summer's evening with a group of girls I wouldn't otherwise have met in Brighton. Where everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves, I started to wonder if this was more of a ‘me’ problem…
I was frustrated because I wasn't as good as some of the others. I arrived late because of work. Over and over in my head I could hear the old adage: “you get out what you put in”. What was I putting in?
Mark bought a football and we had a few little run arounds on the lawns. Dog-walks in the park with Barney meant ample opportunity to practise kicking the tennis ball for him. Boys grow up playing football and to them, kicking a ball is like riding a bike; to me it was still a pretty new skill.
I started leaving work on time: getting changed five minutes before the end of my shift and setting myself a stricter deadline to get all the admin/results/prescriptions/referrals done.
I arrived on the pitch just before our start time, and we had those minutes to chat and catch up and kick the ball around a bit whilst we waited for everyone to arrive. I tried to reframe some of the other girls' skills as opportunities for me to learn from them, rather than see them as a mirror of my own inadequacies. Instead, I was humbled by the experience of not being the best at something - and took the pressure off myself completely.
"We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are". Once I turned the lens to look inwards, I shifted the narrative from victim to instead considering my own role in what was going on. I was simply getting out what I was putting in, and with a few small tweaks, I was back to loving football again. I still miss more balls than I make, and it never seems to go where I want it to, but now I'm laughing about it, rather than lamenting it, and I'm back to enjoying my Wednesday nights playing football in the late summer sun.
Mindful moment: If you are not enjoying something, consider your own role in it. Are you showing up fully? Are you giving yourself the best chances of success? Do your actions match your intentions? Newton's Third Law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - or, in other words, you get out what you put in. It's science in action. Is there an area in your life where you need to put a little more in to get a little more out?
To learn more about Gals, visit Galsfc.com
Love, Laura
In other news…
The rain seems to have washed away the Tories. (It also seems to have washed away my internet, but that seems a small price to pay.) The weather is feeling quite cathartic, I think. I'm grateful we remain a nation that, unlike so many others, hasn't voted in the far-right.
I will be moving my yoga class to Tuesday evenings from September, with the first class starting on Tuesday 3rd September from 7:30-8:30pm. We'll still be at the usual place: Cornerstone Community Centre in Hove.
Have we met?
Welcome to the Community.
I'm Laura, a yoga teacher and NHS doctor. With this weekly newsletter I aim to help you incorporate mindful moments into your week. I want you to feel inspired, empowered and creative. I promise to always be authentic; to only include content that speaks to me and which, therefore, I hope will do the same for you.
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