Building consistency
MINDFUL MOMENTS # 153
Happy Friday to you. I’m sure the beautiful weather this week has benefitted us all - it’s so lovely to see Brighton and Hove come alive in the sunshine again! As I write, I can see the sea is impeccably still and beckoning me for a dip…
I have been reflecting this week on being proactive, rather than being reactive.
I have thought a lot about reactivity before in the context of emotions, particularly when it comes to choosing how we respond to different circumstances. Our reactions are within our control; we can choose how we respond - even when we haven’t chosen the circumstances.
We talk in medicine about being proactive with our health - or, rather, we criticise the NHS and modern medicine for being far too “reactive” and often not heeding the old adage of “prevention is cure”.
I have recently had a few sessions of life-coaching, which is different from therapy in that it is much more forward-looking. I thought I was someone who did a lot of the “right things”: I do some yoga, some running, some cycling, some meditation. But over the last week, with prompting from these sessions, I have realised that I do a lot of these things reactively, rather than proactively.
I reach for a breathwork video when I’m feeling anxious; I go for a run when I’m feeling restless or tired; I’ll sit in silence or practise yoga when I feel I need it. But what if I did those things before the point of needing them? What if I didn’t wait to feel anxious, lethargic or restless? What if I didn’t wait to feel overwhelmed?
I think this is where perhaps I have made mistakes in the past: I have tried to develop a daily practice without recognising the difference between doing this proactively, and doing it in reaction to my emotional state. Previously, I have not managed to cultivate a daily practice, because I didn’t need to do them every day - and therefore I didn’t. It would be mean training myself to do these things even when I am feeling good.
How much less would I need to do these things out of urgency: a kind of pill-in-pocket scenario only reached for in emergencies; a quick reach for a plaster as an old wound starts to open?
What if, through the consistency of being proactive, I could prevent episodes of anxiety or overwhelm?
I’m startlingly aware as I write this that this may seem incredibly obvious. I speak daily to my patients about the benefits of regular exercise and down-regulating practices for the nervous system, such as yoga and breathwork. But for myself, I didn’t appreciate that this depends on me doing this practices before I feel difficult emotions; it requires me to do these practices before I feel I need them.
Do you see the difference for yourself also?
I have been running much more “proactively” in the past few weeks, rather than just in reaction to a need for it: I have wanted to because, presumably on some level, I recognise that that consistency has benefitted my mood, energy and overall wellbeing.
Who would I be if I proactively practised breathwork?
How would I feel if proactively focused on eating well, rather than waiting for a spate of unhealthy eating to be followed by a reactive reaching for more vegetables?
Mindful moment: Perhaps you are already doing this very well. Perhaps, over time, you have built into your life a series of helpful behaviours which, in their consistency, provide you with consistency of emotions. Recognise that skill you have developed for yourself and be proud of that true form of self-care. Perhaps, however, like me, you have a tendency towards waiting to reach for helpful habits when you feel you need them. If that does ring true with you, I wonder if you are able to make small changes from this place of awareness to consider introducing those things that help you - whether a hobby, reading, journalling, etc - more regularly, even on the days where you feel great; where you feel you don’t need them at all. What would change?
YOGA | Mindful Movement
Next class: May 11th
Join us every Saturday from 11am-12.15 at the Cornerstone Community Centre in Hove for an all-levels vinyasa yoga flow class, meditation and mindfulness (mats provided or bring your own).
£6 per class or £24 for 5.
Upcoming classes for your diary until August 2024:
May 11th, 18th;
June 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th;
July 6th, 13th, 27th.
(Or, if it’s easier…no classes: May 25th, July 20th)
REFLECT
“I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t think of you at all.”
Mindful moment: Could you channel a little more Chanel in your life? Her fierce independence, rebellion and go-do attitude may be just what we need this Friday…put on your lipstick (or equivalent…) and attack!
Have we met?
Welcome to the Community.
I'm Laura, a yoga teacher and NHS doctor. With this weekly newsletter I aim to help you incorporate mindful moments into your week. I want you to feel inspired, empowered and creative. I promise to always be authentic; to only include content that speaks to me and which, therefore, I hope will do the same for you.
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